gobigorgoh0me:

unffff.

wizyoshi:

My mother texted me saying dinner was on the stove. She never cooks so it was a nice suprise.When I got home after work I saw a pot on the stove,thinking it was pasta I quickly opened it. Inside there was a Mcdonalds bags… I knew it was too good to be true, atleast I got some nuggets.

geometricdeathtrap:

metallikato:

generallegendary:

metallikato:

jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

• bop it
• pull it
• twist it

• harder
• better
• faster
• stronger 

You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!

Cha cha real smooth

none of you ever touch a penis

kanyewesticle:

it takes me like 3 days to wake up in the morning

mattfoundglory:

the only reason i wear all black is so i can absorb the energy from the sun and become the most powerful being on the earth

vegancajun:

I’m going to cry…